In Estonia, moms and dads are too lenient with kids consuming alcohol: majority of them thinks the initial schnapps should happen ere the child becomes an adult, and that offering alcohol at home helps cut curiosity developed towards it.
Parents too permissive towards drinking
13th June 2014, 16:20
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Almost half the parents are of the opinion that children could take the first sip while 15 to 17 years of age. Another quarter reasons it better take place before turning 15. Thus, less than a third of parents think the kid should be an adult before ever trying alcohol, shows a scientific risk behaviour awareness study ordered by Police and Border Guard Board.
A study by Terve Eesti, a foundation for Healthy Estonia, added that over half of parents think serving alcohol at home helps reduce a child’s curiosity and teaches them safe drinking. At that, a third of parents consider offering alcohol even necessary, and a tenth admits having personally handed the tipple to their offspring. Also, the majority think the kids ought to be taught how to drink so as to not do themselves damage.
According to a European poll on alcohol and drug use among school-children, over a quarter of Estonian children had drunk low-alcohol beverages, such as beer, cider and even wine and champagne, initially while 11 or even younger. Mind you, the talk was not about tasting it, but downing more than a glass.
According to Terve Eesti CEO Hannes Lents, however, it is known that the earlier kids start tippling, the higher the risk of becoming addicted.
«We also know from earlier research that the environment, parents included, has an extremely large role in preventing addictive behaviour. Right limits set at the right time will substantially lower risk of addiction,» he added.
The inevitable example
Scientific literature says it is advisable to talk to children about alcohol between six and ten years of age already, and that clear limits to use of alcohol ought to be in place before they turn 10. Studies say, however, that most Estonian parents put the limit-setting off till ages of 11 to 14.
According to Mr Lents, all adults ought to try and honestly answer the question why they personally consume alcohol, as the example set before children is unavoidable.
«We can reduce the situations where a coterie is drinking with kids playing around them. That will make it a normality for the children that fun comes with alcohol – as my mother does that, my father does that, my friends do that,» said he. «In order to avoid creating the link, we must be careful. We should either definitely cut the amounts so we’ll not get drunk, or agree that there’ll be events where we will not have alcohol.»
Mr Lents also advised to consider why people come together after all. «Is the feeling granted by alcohol what draws us to a summertime event, or is it the event itself, and the friends we will be with?» he asked.
According to school psychologist and family therapist Kadri Järv-Mändoja, a kid’s future alcohol-behaviour gets affected when seeing parents drunk just for once or twice. And if a parent is drunk often, it is traumatizing for the child as the parent is unable to take care of him, notice him or take needed steps.
Ms Järv-Mändoja said that problematic behaviour and early drinking among children is often the result of parents not having too much contact with them. They do talk about everyday things, but there’s no genuine closeness.
«How is he doing, what is he doing, what is he reading, what movies is he watching, what kind of friends he has, what they do at parties,» listed the therapist, suggesting vital things to talk about.
Faulty family ties
Shared activities are no less important. For instance, says Ms Järv-Mändoja, it is shown in studies that if a family has supper together, daily, they feel closer and risk behaviour correspondingly drops. The latter, often, result in the child feeling bad.
According to Mr Lents, use of alcohol and other mind-altering substances is also linked to risking and pushing the edge – a normal part of growing up. Even so, says he, the desire to risk and to develop may be supported in ways without long-lasting damaging effects. For instance: a kid might put himself to the test in extreme sports.