Non-drinkers expected to explain why

Marina Lohk
, ajakirjanik
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Photo: Allikas: WHO

In Estonia, booze is so prevalent that it’s quite a surprise to others if some decline a drink, says the experience of those who opted – out of their own free will – to cut consumption of alcohol.

At the end of last year and the beginning of 2014, University of Tallinn media and communication studies expert and lector Esta Kaal did 13 in-depth interviews with Estonians aged 21 to 45 who had voluntarily, without being told by doctors or forced by health issues, cut their drinking levels or decided to abstain altogether.

«We set out to find out what led to the idea to drink less. And we also wanted to know what makes it hard or easy. Sooner or later, all unavoidably mentioned the difficulty or at least the nuisance of being asked while with others why they don’t drink. And then one needs to seriously substantiate that,» said the researcher.

According to Ms Kaal, many said they have to have weighty arguments at hand to answer such questions: that «it’s the liver», or I’m driving, or an addict. «If you just say I don’t want to, people don’t seem to get it – what do you mean don’t want to?»

Fighting self

Though it’s mostly the friends and acquaintances that raise eyebrows, those interviewed by Ms Kaal admitted that the why-question also pops up among strangers. «For the widespread social normality is that at parties or in company of others people do drink, the more so when alcohol is out on the table.»

The question «Why don’t you drink?» is hardest on those who are still fighting the battle on the inside, who are not totally committed to stop drinking or at least to cut it, or those who doubt they can pull it off.

«Such people are really disturbed and even a bit offended as they really have tried hard and would rather expect the friends to take notice, to acknowledge and support them,» explained Ms Kaal.

The bothersome question, however, was no problem for a lady 21 years of age who had started drinking when 12 and quit when 16. The researcher said that despite her young age, the lady was very mature socially and firm in her decision; also, she had developed her own custom answers to explain her non-drinking to others at events.

Ms Kaal also discovered when analysing the interviews that those that have stopped drinking out of personal convictions and preferences are better at standing firm. As was the case with the aforementioned young lady.

However, if the decision to cut drinking was an argument imposed by others, like in cases with relational problems in families, these persons were indeed turning down drinks but never sure if they could keep it up.

As examples of that, those interviewed included two men of 45, one of whom admitted to being addicted and turning into a monster by alcohol, one he could not control; the other was a beer «regular» who thereby suffered in health and marriage alike.

«Both underlined, the typical way, that the wife keeps nagging,» noted the researcher.

Those interviewed included a 25-years-old lady working in movie-making and often partying; she said she was a drunkard for a decade.

«That was getting scary. With a jerk, she first tried to quit altogether, but was unable to due to her lifestyle; so now she was seeking to find the balance point, which is actually very dangerous – we won’t know where she’ll be with her goals, a year from now,» said the researcher.

Hobby helps

The researcher said a young woman tried to wean herself from alcohol after downing a bottle of wine every night for a week, all by herself. «She had a problem in her personal life, and so she was trying to find relief. But she had an awakening as she beheld the impressive artillery of bottles in the corner, thinking what am I doing,» related Ms Kaal.

Based on this study, and one conducted earlier, the researcher said stress is the main reason people drink. «Alcohol is a very simple, handy and fast way to alleviate tension; regrettably, in this fast life of ours, the tensions do abound,» she noted. Those interviewed had found an alternative in some targeted activity, a hobby. «The other way would be easing the stress in the company of others; but that would require an excellent set friends, people who are positive, supportive and such as do not need alcohol to have fun, to have a good time.»

According to Ms Kaal, the people who cut consumption usually stuck to their favourite drinks, while paying attention to frequency and amounts.

«They tried to determine the situations where drinking was not unavoidable. They acknowledged that with birthdays and celebrations etc they’d drink some; but to drink any time that friends gather to talk about life... would that always need to happen to the backdrop of drinking?» said Ms Kaal.

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